26 - THE Talk

It is 11:30 AM on the last day of August. DHAl and Daughter#2 are in the room along with Dr A and several other doctors. This is THE talk about my Big C.

Looking back, I am not quite sure what exactly was articulated in that moment and what we learn later but no matter. It all comes down to this: Although no cancer diagnosis is ever good, stomach cancer is one of da bad bad boys. Like cancer of the pancreas, it also has the conversation-ending moniker of The Silent Killer as it is rarely detected in an early, more treatable stage.

I am not at an early stage.

In my mind there are three key takeaways from what Dr A is explaining. And I seem to land on the wrong side of the equation in each case.

surgical/medical

localized/diffusedly thick

curative/palliative

In stomach cancer, the first line of offense is usually surgery. Cut that bad boy right out! However, this works best when the cancer is localized. My cancer is not localized – just the opposite. The docs believe the cancer has spread throughout the five layers of the stomach wall and possibly beyond. Surgery will provide “no beneficial outcome.” Damn those diffusedly thick stomach walls!

This boots me from the surgical side to the medical one. TBH, I thought all of this was “medical” but at least on the 9th floor surgical oncology wing, that is not how the term is used. With surgery ruled out, the medical team takes over with their battery of tricks – chemo and radiation are two of them.

In recent years, most of the advances in the treatment of cancer have been made on the medical side. We are told this is where the promising action is happening. Who knows what winning card may be pulled out of what clinical trial sleeve?

‘Cept in my case the next step is considered palliative, not curative. This does not rule out breakthroughs, miracles, or just the fact each person is a little different. But even for a glass-half-full girl like me, these possibilities feel like slim pickings.

Perhaps because I am a glass-half-full type of person, I do find one small silver lining. Granted, a sliver of silver. About the size of a fork. With no surgery and no tests scheduled, I can order from the regular menu! I pick salmon and what to me is pure comfort food: Mashed potatoes.

Are they the best mashed potatoes ever? You bet!

Hey, if you get nothing else out of this blog – other than a banana has five sides which could be a fun diversionary comment if Friendsgiving goes ugly – get this: Whatever bits of comfort you can find, embrace ‘em.   

Ah, in the case of mashed potatoes, not literally, peeps! Not literally!